A dozen elderly people sitting on folding chairs in a gravel lay-by beside an A-road, holding agendas, as a lorry thunders past. A hand-written sign taped to a bin reads "AGM".
The 2026 AGM in session. Item 4 was inaudible.

The Nether Fossey chapter's annual general meeting was held in a lay-by on the A1067 on Saturday after members objected to the booked venue, the village hall, on the grounds of inadequate parking.

The objection was raised by Derek Turnstile, N.O.B., who noted that the hall's car park has eleven spaces and the chapter has fourteen members, "and I'm not parking on the road, I've seen what happens". Fellow members supported the objection and added concerns about noise, light spill from the kitchen hatch and the hall's "urbanising" new fire door.

We could hardly hold a meeting in a building we'd object to if someone else proposed it. That would be hypocrisy. We take our principles very seriously, which is why we were in a lay-by.Col. (Retd.) Rupert Hasting-Fforbes, N.O.B., Chairman

Proceedings in the lay-by were interrupted by lorries, rain and a cyclist, who was asked to leave. Under item 6, "Any other business", Mr Turnstile proposed an objection to the lay-by itself, citing highways safety, litter and "the general feel of it". The motion was carried unanimously, and members agreed to relocate the meeting.

11Parking spaces
14Members
3Venues objected to
0Minutes taken

No alternative venue could be agreed. The Bell was rejected because of the puddle, the church because of the bells and the Chairman's house because "it's got a conservatory and we all know how that went". The meeting concluded in the Chairman's car, in the hall car park, with the engine running for the heater.

The chapter has since lodged an objection to the car.